If I’ve had the chance to talk with you for any length of time, you’ve probably heard me say that one of the most impactful sermons we’ve heard over the years centers on biblical decision making. Why? Simply because the breaking of fellowship among believers is perhaps one of the most painful experiences to us humanly, and I believe grieving to God. Yet, due to our human nature, conflict abounds within all our relationships as commonly as anything we know. How then to deal with conflicts that are sure to arise & not sacrifice the fellowship we are called to be in? Let’s start with humility, respect and understanding of what’s really important and what isn’t.

The decision grid and most of what follows is from Pastor Chris Robinson of Grace Bible Church in Marshall, VA. He gave this message at least two if not three times between 1996 & 2004, with the effect that the unity we experienced at GBC we took for granted as commonplace in Christian fellowship. As time went on however we came to realize that unity, humility & respect is not as common as we thought & perhaps an intentional, thoughtful reasoning process was missing. Indeed, as a culture I’ve come to believe the process of reasoning & debate is largely lost to the immediacy of emotional appeal & soundbites.

When asked to give the message to our fellowship on 6/29/08 this was the most pressing topic on my heart. You can listen to the message here.

Romans 14:1 – Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things.

Here, the strong in the faith are told to receive the weak and not to dispute over doubtful things – which literally means: “reasonings” or “opinions”.

2 – For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. Let not him who eats despise [show contempt] him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

The strong in faith, the mature, are not to treat the weak with contempt, and the weak are not to judge the strong by attempting to place excessive limitations, or prohibitions, on them.

5 – One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 – He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it.

There were many holy days in Old Testament ceremonial law, and that is most likely what this refers to. Notice the last sentence in verse 5: Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. Clearly we each have a right to our own convictions. This is a basic principle in dealing with conflicts and disputes.

6b – He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks; and he who does not eat, to the Lord he does not eat, and gives God thanks. For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

10 – But why to you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt [same word as despise in V.3] for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 11 – For it is written [Is. 45:23]: As I live, says the LORD, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

12 – So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall [snare] in our brother’s way.

Clearly there are things that matter, and things that don’t. Some things we should overlook, and some we should not. As imperfect humans, it’s likely we’ll get those things confused…even wrong, from time to time. I think it might also be helpful to point out that the context of the previous verses is that of individuals relating to each other within the body of Christ. Members of a fellowship. The context would thus be different from that of corporate responsibility, or leadership and the responsibility to guide, oversee, and protect the body. What I really want to explore today is a level of personal responsibility within the context of individual relationships within the body.

The Christian life – either individually, or corporately as the body – should exhibit growth. Growth should be evident. We should always be growing, maturing, spiritually. I don’t think any of us would disagree with that, as far as it goes. Growth means change – change means choices – decisions must be made. And choices or decisions…usually are accompanied by conflict. In our culture conflicts over seemingly insignificant issues are sometimes hard to tell apart from the issues that really matter.

Think about some of your more recent decisions, big and small. More importantly, how did you arrive at your conclusions? Were they calculated, impetuous, selfish, routine, or godly? As Christians, we are admonished to put the decision making process through a Biblical grid. This “grid” helps us to discern whether our beliefs are only opinions or truly something we are willing to die for. Let me offer you a way to distinguish various levels in your belief system. This has helped my family tremendously over the years and I trust it will be a blessing to you.

Usually there are four levels at work in our lives: Opinions, Preferences, Convictions and Beliefs. The examples that follow are representative of where our family places issues and are not meant to be exhaustive.

A. Opinions – this is what I am willing to debate or enjoy discussing with others. I will not separate from another Christian over these because scripture does not specifically declare a position. (Examples – church building styles, clergy clothing, church fund raising, church sports teams, denominational name tags, carpet color, dichotomy vs. trichotomy). Two examples that might appear somewhere between opinion and preference would be church membership and the Bible Version Controversy.

1. 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2. When it comes to bible versions there are issues that fall into all categories; what scripture is, and what it’s good for are clearly stated. That scripture is the Verbal, plenary, inspiration is a hill worth dying on, but when you start getting in to this version or that, it’s not a “hill to die on” anymore.

B. Preferences – this is what I am willing to argue over with others. I will not separate over these because scripture does not specifically declare a position. However, as I interpret the Word I may feel that I found principles that seem to support my preferences, while recognizing that other respected interpreters do not necessarily agree on my particular slant. (Examples – music styles, clothing standards, social drinking or smoking, card playing, tithing vs. grace giving, Eschatology) Two examples that might appear somewhere between preference and conviction would be church government style, covenant vs. dispensational theology and the divorce/remarriage issue.

C. Conviction – this is what I am willing to “fight” over with others. I would consider separating from a church or from other brethren because Scripture gives clear direction in these matters. The interpretation I follow seems consistent and comprehensive. (Examples – sin of adultery, gambling and abortion, required sign gifts in the life of the believer, sowing discord among the brethren, ecumenical issues such as ordination of female pastors and/or homosexuals. While the ordinance of communion and baptism would be considered convictions the style or place of such ordinances would be preferences.)

D. Beliefs – this is what I am willing to die for. These beliefs have been held (even defended to the death) by believers through the centuries. (Examples – the absolute authority of Scripture, the deity, resurrection and virgin birth of Christ, the Trinity, the fact of the second coming of Jesus Christ and salvation by grace through faith).

Having a process or “grid” like this for making decisions can be very important in building and sustaining relationships. It’s not uncommon in our society to see someone totally “lose it” over nothing. Think about road rage, or incidents of little league dads committing assault. It’s not the norm, but it’s not unfamiliar to any of you. Couldn’t you describe it as passions not being prioritized? Or priorities all out of whack? And probably simply due to not taking the time to consider where it falls in the overall scheme of things. Scripture consistently exhorts us to “consider” or “reason” or “think”. It also tells us not to be carried away by emotion. Emotion is a key characteristic of our created being, and an essential one; but it is not healthy to relationships for decisions to be based on emotions.

The true value I’ve found in this process is that it so much easier to respect the person you disagree with when you understand the decision making process they use. Respect and humility – simply holding others in higher esteem than yourself – lead to unity. The body of Christ is us; a collection of individuals that needs to learn to effectively communicate and relate with one another if we are to go about doing His work effectively. It doesn’t happen by default.
It is also I think much easier to function in the world, truly being an integral part of the community, while not being of the world – when you have a clear understanding of where you stand in your own opinions, preferences, convictions, and beliefs.
Most of your examples will fall under the first 3 levels.Just remember, choose your “hills” carefully and be ready always to give a reason of the hope that is in you, I Peter 3:15.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 30th, 2008 at 7:31 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.